Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
is troublemaker my middle name?
So, last night at a ladies' activity at church, a friend of mine with a smile on her face and a cute little voice said that I was a troublemaker. I've been thinking about it all day and I'd like to share my conclusion. I do not believe myself to be a troublemaker. I AM a mischief maker but I believe them to be two different things. I've been known to play devil's advocate and I will talk in a circle like any good philosopher will but I don't like to start trouble. I won't run away from a fight. I'm not afraid of confrontation, esp. if I feel like I'm defending someone I care about. But I do not actively seek out fights, arguments, or controversy.
I do enjoy teasing and sarcasm. I am "snarky" when I feel defensive. And I poke fun....at everyone...but mainly myself. I'm so good at putting myself down that I probably don't give myself enough credit.
With that being said, I find myself evaluating my behavior (and others' behavior as well) lately. I started this goofy thing about the Elf on the Shelf. A lot of friends have purchased these elf dolls and each night put together an elaborate scenario of "elf magic" that their children absolutely love. They take pictures and post them on facebook. I'm sure they are doing great family traditions that their kids will forever remember. Every time I try to start a family tradition my kids usually complain until I give up. These Elves are pretty creative and take a lot of effort. I have no qualms with anyone who likes doing it. It just happens that about 15 people I know do this tradition and so every day in the month of December, I see several posts of elves. With that being said, last year I made a snarky remark about the posts...not about anyone in particular, just a comment about the tradition. A friend made a comment about me posting about my kids all the time in place of an elf. I laughed it off and when she started her elf tradition this year, I gave her a hard time. It then started a mischievous tradition that I just began called "Greta the Elf, too big for a Shelf". Mainly my tradition takes me doing mundane activities with a goofy look on my face and taking a "selfie". Then I post it to facebook and everyone laughs at me (and to be honest, I laugh at myself). It's all in good fun. But as I thought of my behavior this week, I hope that everyone else knows that it is in all good fun. I don't want or mean to "start trouble".
Now, last night, a few other people made slight comments to me about my behavior. I paused wondering if I'm being understood. Perhaps I'm too jovial....or sarcastic....or maybe I'm just not sensitive to others. This is a serious point for me b/c I have an issue with a few "friends" that I feel are not sensitive to others. They routinely make comments to me that offend me, hurt my feelings, and sometimes downright honk. me. off! I'm certain that they have no idea that they do it. I'm certain that they don't mean to do it. And I wonder if I brought it up to them how would they react? Do I do the same to others? Do I offend, hurt feelings or honk others off? I don't mean to. As I stated, I'm not a troublemaker.
I'm fiercely loyal...I will fight tooth and nail for my loved ones (family and friends included). I will not back down from defending someone I care about and I've been known to fight for the honor of others (even when they don't necessarily want me to). I won't run from a confrontation. Sometimes confrontation can be a good thing and is necessary. I truly believe that. I honestly believe that sometimes things have to be fought over to be resolved. With that being said, I'm not afraid of a fight (even ones where I know I may not win).
Still I find myself getting frustrated with some people who upset me, offend me, or just come off as "trouble" and I find myself being afraid that others see me as "trouble". I don't want to be trouble. I want to be funny, goofy, and lovable. I hope that I can work harder at coming off as mischievous and not trouble. But also that I can note when others don't mean to be trouble but are simply misunderstood.
I do enjoy teasing and sarcasm. I am "snarky" when I feel defensive. And I poke fun....at everyone...but mainly myself. I'm so good at putting myself down that I probably don't give myself enough credit.
With that being said, I find myself evaluating my behavior (and others' behavior as well) lately. I started this goofy thing about the Elf on the Shelf. A lot of friends have purchased these elf dolls and each night put together an elaborate scenario of "elf magic" that their children absolutely love. They take pictures and post them on facebook. I'm sure they are doing great family traditions that their kids will forever remember. Every time I try to start a family tradition my kids usually complain until I give up. These Elves are pretty creative and take a lot of effort. I have no qualms with anyone who likes doing it. It just happens that about 15 people I know do this tradition and so every day in the month of December, I see several posts of elves. With that being said, last year I made a snarky remark about the posts...not about anyone in particular, just a comment about the tradition. A friend made a comment about me posting about my kids all the time in place of an elf. I laughed it off and when she started her elf tradition this year, I gave her a hard time. It then started a mischievous tradition that I just began called "Greta the Elf, too big for a Shelf". Mainly my tradition takes me doing mundane activities with a goofy look on my face and taking a "selfie". Then I post it to facebook and everyone laughs at me (and to be honest, I laugh at myself). It's all in good fun. But as I thought of my behavior this week, I hope that everyone else knows that it is in all good fun. I don't want or mean to "start trouble".
Now, last night, a few other people made slight comments to me about my behavior. I paused wondering if I'm being understood. Perhaps I'm too jovial....or sarcastic....or maybe I'm just not sensitive to others. This is a serious point for me b/c I have an issue with a few "friends" that I feel are not sensitive to others. They routinely make comments to me that offend me, hurt my feelings, and sometimes downright honk. me. off! I'm certain that they have no idea that they do it. I'm certain that they don't mean to do it. And I wonder if I brought it up to them how would they react? Do I do the same to others? Do I offend, hurt feelings or honk others off? I don't mean to. As I stated, I'm not a troublemaker.
I'm fiercely loyal...I will fight tooth and nail for my loved ones (family and friends included). I will not back down from defending someone I care about and I've been known to fight for the honor of others (even when they don't necessarily want me to). I won't run from a confrontation. Sometimes confrontation can be a good thing and is necessary. I truly believe that. I honestly believe that sometimes things have to be fought over to be resolved. With that being said, I'm not afraid of a fight (even ones where I know I may not win).
Still I find myself getting frustrated with some people who upset me, offend me, or just come off as "trouble" and I find myself being afraid that others see me as "trouble". I don't want to be trouble. I want to be funny, goofy, and lovable. I hope that I can work harder at coming off as mischievous and not trouble. But also that I can note when others don't mean to be trouble but are simply misunderstood.
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