When I was in elementary school, my best friend was the girl that I always hoped would be in the same class as me. We would have sleepovers at each others house and played together at recess always (esp. when we weren't in the same class).
When I was in high school, my best friend was the girl that I passed notes to in the hallway, sat with at lunch, called as soon as I got home b/c I had to tell her the news from the day and we NEVER went to the mall without each other.
When I was in college, my best friends were the girls who I roomed with, who were my cohorts in crime, the girl I cried to when I got dumped and hung out with when I got stressed.
Now as a woman in her thirties, with four kids and a husband and house to take care of, my demands for a best friend have totally changed. Yes, my husband is my best friend but when I think about my "girl", my best friend, two women come to mind. Neither one sees me on a daily basis. In fact, I'm lucky if I get to say hi to either one at church on Sunday. We don't know what is going on in each other's lives all the time but we know when the big stuff is happening. We try to make sure to acknowledge each other on our birthdays and when we do get to spend time together or see each other, there are a lot of hugs! And I know I can call them when I need to be "talked down from the ledge" that motherhood sometimes has me up on.
At times I look back over the years and realize that I no longer keep in touch with my best friend from elementary school, high school, or college. Some of the girls that were the biggest part of my growing up aren't even friends on Facebook. It makes me sad sometimes and I feel guilt for the changes in my life. But I'm happy with who I am and I know I wouldn't be me if it weren't for those girls in my life. Still, I see how friendships mean different things as an adult. I'm okay to stand on my own without my "girls" around me but I know they will be there when I do need them and that's the important thing.
Growing up is hard to do but honestly, I kinda glad that I've done it.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Friday, March 22, 2013
Things I've Learned as a Mother of 4
1. When you have one child and they learn to say Mommy, it is the sweetest sound you could possibly hear. By the time you have 4 kids, the word "mommy" has become the most obscene curse word you can imagine. Listening to your 3yo toddler say "mommy" every 2 seconds for 20 minutes straight is like listening to an Ozzy Osbourne CD on repeat! Your ears are bleeding and you feel like you might combust if you hear the word "mommy" one more time!
2. Nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, is sacred anymore. Everyone runs around the house half-dressed and ALL body parts are discussed at the dinner table, on the way to church, and sometimes in the grocery store as the check-out clerk rings up your purchases. "Why do yours look like that Mommy?" "Mamaw is very comfortable to sit on b/c she has pillows." and so on! They want to discuss everything at all times and in all places and it's totally innocent but so NOT appropriate!
3. Anyone can be bought! Seriously, all you need is a juice box and a bag of goldfish crackers and you can get those little buggers to do anything you ask. In fact, opening up a container of goldfish crackers is like throwing breadcrumbs at the ducks at the pond. They hear the shake of the goldfish and they come runnin' like there is no tomorrow!
4. Your infant and God have some sort of unspoken communication that makes you the butt of a huge cosmic joke! You have five minutes to go before you have to leave to get the kids from the bus stop and you consider yourself a success b/c you just managed to feed the baby in 10 minutes flat with 5 minutes to spare. Then the baby decides to spit up half of the bottle onto himself and you. No problem! You quickly change t-shirts (b/c that's all you wear-tshirts and sweats) and go to change the baby. Only to find that he has had an explosive diaper that reaches all the way up his back, between his shoulder blades, and clear into his hair line! As you reach for the wet wipes, you realize you are out of them and now have to rush to wet a washcloth and hose him down while still rushing to make it to the bus stop on time. Let's not forget that you will hit every red light between your house and the bus stop and the baby and the toddler will scream their heads off the entire way b/c that's just what they do!
5. Diet and exercise take on a whole new meaning. Suddenly Lucky Charms are a healthy breakfast alternative from the Snickers bar and Pepsi that you usually have. And exercise? Once my dr told me that to get good exercise, just park further away from the store and count the walk through the parking lot as a form of exercise. Clearly she never attempted this with four kids! It's like a twisted, real-life version of Frogger! While I do consider carrying the baby in the infant carrier on one hip and the 3yo toddler on the other hip as heavy lifting, it's the 7yo and 5yo who are holding hands and walking DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF YOU b/c you have threatened to take away Christmas if they so much as move to the side in the slightest--there in lies the challenge! And by the time you make it into the store (thank heavens for automatic opening doors), your arms are shaking from the strain, your hair has fallen out of the ponytail (b/c these days it's always in a ponytail), and the diaper bag has slipped down your shoulder and is now hanging off of your elbow and hitting the 5yo in the back of the legs b/c she really did not move from directly in front of you! Yeah, that's my workout for the day and I reward myself by having that Snickers and Pepsi that I skipped for breakfast!
6. There is NOWHERE TO HIDE....ever! They will find you! No matter where you go, how quiet you are, or how sneaky you think you are being....they. will. find. you. And Beware when they do. I've had moments where I've tried to take refuge in the bathroom. It doesn't work...even if you lock the door, they find a way in...and when they're in, we begin conversations like above mentioned point #2. "What are you doing in here Mommy? Going potty? Why? Can I watch you?" I repeat, nothing is sacred. Try the closet or even the van in the garage and you'll run into the first point from above. "Mommy? Mom? Momma? Mommmmeeeeee? Mommmmmeeeeee! MOMMY! MOMMMEEEE!" Do not bother trying! They will hunt you down....tell yourself it will make them great missionaries b/c they'll seek out people to teach! Tell yourself anything you need to but do live in doubt.....you have nowhere to hide!
I'm sure there's more I've learned and frankly, I may add more later. And some I won't add simply b/c they just aren't as funny as these are. But that's the last thing I've learned as a mother of four:
7. Sometimes you just have to laugh so that you don't cry!
2. Nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, is sacred anymore. Everyone runs around the house half-dressed and ALL body parts are discussed at the dinner table, on the way to church, and sometimes in the grocery store as the check-out clerk rings up your purchases. "Why do yours look like that Mommy?" "Mamaw is very comfortable to sit on b/c she has pillows." and so on! They want to discuss everything at all times and in all places and it's totally innocent but so NOT appropriate!
3. Anyone can be bought! Seriously, all you need is a juice box and a bag of goldfish crackers and you can get those little buggers to do anything you ask. In fact, opening up a container of goldfish crackers is like throwing breadcrumbs at the ducks at the pond. They hear the shake of the goldfish and they come runnin' like there is no tomorrow!
4. Your infant and God have some sort of unspoken communication that makes you the butt of a huge cosmic joke! You have five minutes to go before you have to leave to get the kids from the bus stop and you consider yourself a success b/c you just managed to feed the baby in 10 minutes flat with 5 minutes to spare. Then the baby decides to spit up half of the bottle onto himself and you. No problem! You quickly change t-shirts (b/c that's all you wear-tshirts and sweats) and go to change the baby. Only to find that he has had an explosive diaper that reaches all the way up his back, between his shoulder blades, and clear into his hair line! As you reach for the wet wipes, you realize you are out of them and now have to rush to wet a washcloth and hose him down while still rushing to make it to the bus stop on time. Let's not forget that you will hit every red light between your house and the bus stop and the baby and the toddler will scream their heads off the entire way b/c that's just what they do!
5. Diet and exercise take on a whole new meaning. Suddenly Lucky Charms are a healthy breakfast alternative from the Snickers bar and Pepsi that you usually have. And exercise? Once my dr told me that to get good exercise, just park further away from the store and count the walk through the parking lot as a form of exercise. Clearly she never attempted this with four kids! It's like a twisted, real-life version of Frogger! While I do consider carrying the baby in the infant carrier on one hip and the 3yo toddler on the other hip as heavy lifting, it's the 7yo and 5yo who are holding hands and walking DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF YOU b/c you have threatened to take away Christmas if they so much as move to the side in the slightest--there in lies the challenge! And by the time you make it into the store (thank heavens for automatic opening doors), your arms are shaking from the strain, your hair has fallen out of the ponytail (b/c these days it's always in a ponytail), and the diaper bag has slipped down your shoulder and is now hanging off of your elbow and hitting the 5yo in the back of the legs b/c she really did not move from directly in front of you! Yeah, that's my workout for the day and I reward myself by having that Snickers and Pepsi that I skipped for breakfast!
6. There is NOWHERE TO HIDE....ever! They will find you! No matter where you go, how quiet you are, or how sneaky you think you are being....they. will. find. you. And Beware when they do. I've had moments where I've tried to take refuge in the bathroom. It doesn't work...even if you lock the door, they find a way in...and when they're in, we begin conversations like above mentioned point #2. "What are you doing in here Mommy? Going potty? Why? Can I watch you?" I repeat, nothing is sacred. Try the closet or even the van in the garage and you'll run into the first point from above. "Mommy? Mom? Momma? Mommmmeeeeee? Mommmmmeeeeee! MOMMY! MOMMMEEEE!" Do not bother trying! They will hunt you down....tell yourself it will make them great missionaries b/c they'll seek out people to teach! Tell yourself anything you need to but do live in doubt.....you have nowhere to hide!
I'm sure there's more I've learned and frankly, I may add more later. And some I won't add simply b/c they just aren't as funny as these are. But that's the last thing I've learned as a mother of four:
7. Sometimes you just have to laugh so that you don't cry!
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Daddy/daughter Dance 2013
Isabel's school had a Daddy/Daughter Dance on Saturday for all girls K-6. Isabel was so excited! She counted down the days, got super excited when she got to buy the tickets, and even got new shoes for the event. Her dress was for Easter but it was new too! She even carried a purse so SHE could carry the tickets (you know, Daddy might lose them). They went out for dinner before the dance also! She had such a good time. Daddy said that he had to persuade her to dance at first but she got over her shyness and busted a move. Kurtis also enjoyed getting to meet some of her friends. I was a little jealous but they seemed to have a great time!
Kids say the darndest things
This week has just been funny with some the cute things the kids have said. I'm great at putting it on FB but I'm going to try to get some down here on the blog for anyone who wants to read them.
In church this month we are singing a song that says "baptism by immersion for the remission of sins" and Izzy just handed me a water bottle and said "you have earned this for your permission of sins!"
Isabel had to make a Leprechaun trap for school this week....Kalen keeps calling it a Megatron trap!
In the store today, Isabel said something and I said "oh Izzy, you are soooo smart."
Isabel: "yes, and I'm skinny!"
Me: "yes well, those are two things women want to be-smart and skinny"
The woman standing next to us thought this was a pretty funny conversation.
Kalen decided today that he wanted to dress as Bumblebee and then proceeded to order Izzy to dress as Heatwave. What makes it even funnier is when he told her to "Transform and roll out!" so they got down on all fours and scooted around like cars!!!!
In church this month we are singing a song that says "baptism by immersion for the remission of sins" and Izzy just handed me a water bottle and said "you have earned this for your permission of sins!"
Isabel had to make a Leprechaun trap for school this week....Kalen keeps calling it a Megatron trap!
In the store today, Isabel said something and I said "oh Izzy, you are soooo smart."
Isabel: "yes, and I'm skinny!"
Me: "yes well, those are two things women want to be-smart and skinny"
The woman standing next to us thought this was a pretty funny conversation.
Kalen decided today that he wanted to dress as Bumblebee and then proceeded to order Izzy to dress as Heatwave. What makes it even funnier is when he told her to "Transform and roll out!" so they got down on all fours and scooted around like cars!!!!
Sunday, March 10, 2013
My newest epiphany
The other night I sat down next to Kurtis in a fit of worry. I'd been struggling for a few nights with feeling helpless about some issues. The truth was there was nothing I was going to be able to do about the issues. I could not change them, fix them, or even find a way around them. I just had to deal with the way things were. While I cried to Kurtis about it, my dear husband looked at me and said "Greta, you HAVE to stop worrying so much." I replied honestly "I only worry b/c I care SO much." He said sweetly "I know honey. But you have to care a little less."
He is right but boy is it easier said than done. I have a sign next to my bed that reads "Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them." I think that is almost a fault of mine. I do everything with 110% of my being....that includes being a wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend. And sometimes it hurts b/c others do not give 110% back. Is it b/c they love me less or b/c they are unwilling to give me that much? I honestly realize that this is not true. They DO love me that much and they ARE willing but honestly, they have things going on in their lives. Does that mean that I don't hurt sometimes when I feel like someone has made me a lesser priority? Again, honestly, yes, it hurts sometimes. But I need to remember that this is the stage of life I'm in. It's the stage of life most of my friends and family are in. We're so busy trying to keep it together as wives and moms that we often "slight" each other or even ourselves. No one is harder on me than I am on myself. I'm so good at giving compliments or seeing the positive in others. But it takes a SERIOUS AMOUNT of I don't even know what to get me to recognize anything positive in myself. That sucks!
While thinking about this today, I realized that I often look at it so much as a "competition" with other women rather than seeing other women as "compliments" to me. My friends can be the "burger and fries" to my "shake and toy surprise". And yes, I get to be the "toy surprise" (I'm already compact sized). I don't want this to sound like I'm whining "no one likes me the way I like them". That's not what I mean to say. I recognize the worth of my family and friends. I need to trust in them and believe that they recognize my worth. And I should probably recognize my own worth as well.
He is right but boy is it easier said than done. I have a sign next to my bed that reads "Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them." I think that is almost a fault of mine. I do everything with 110% of my being....that includes being a wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend. And sometimes it hurts b/c others do not give 110% back. Is it b/c they love me less or b/c they are unwilling to give me that much? I honestly realize that this is not true. They DO love me that much and they ARE willing but honestly, they have things going on in their lives. Does that mean that I don't hurt sometimes when I feel like someone has made me a lesser priority? Again, honestly, yes, it hurts sometimes. But I need to remember that this is the stage of life I'm in. It's the stage of life most of my friends and family are in. We're so busy trying to keep it together as wives and moms that we often "slight" each other or even ourselves. No one is harder on me than I am on myself. I'm so good at giving compliments or seeing the positive in others. But it takes a SERIOUS AMOUNT of I don't even know what to get me to recognize anything positive in myself. That sucks!
While thinking about this today, I realized that I often look at it so much as a "competition" with other women rather than seeing other women as "compliments" to me. My friends can be the "burger and fries" to my "shake and toy surprise". And yes, I get to be the "toy surprise" (I'm already compact sized). I don't want this to sound like I'm whining "no one likes me the way I like them". That's not what I mean to say. I recognize the worth of my family and friends. I need to trust in them and believe that they recognize my worth. And I should probably recognize my own worth as well.
Saturday, March 9, 2013
the latest installment "from the back of the van"
starring Isabel....
while discussing our birthdays,
Isabel: "Mommy, you have had a LOT of birthdays b/c you are an adult and not a kid"
Mommy: "well thanks!"
Isabel: "that doesn't make you old. Daddy isn't old either."
Daddy: "who is old?"
Isabel: "Mamaw"
Daddy: "you probably shouldn't tell her that. what happens when you're old?"
Isabel: "you die."
Daddy: "no, I mean what makes a person old?"
Isabel: "they look old"
Mommy: "you REALLY shouldn't tell Mamaw that!"
Daddy: "how can you tell a person is old?"
Isabel: "their hair turns yellow and sometimes falls out. They also get wrinkles. Like when you are in the bathtub for too long."
I will also include her lyrics from the song you wrote yesterday:
"Ooooh babe, babe....shimmy down, down, down....babe, babe, put the baby in the carseat....like our Daddy does.....shimmy down, down, ddddooooowwwwnnnn!"
while discussing our birthdays,
Isabel: "Mommy, you have had a LOT of birthdays b/c you are an adult and not a kid"
Mommy: "well thanks!"
Isabel: "that doesn't make you old. Daddy isn't old either."
Daddy: "who is old?"
Isabel: "Mamaw"
Daddy: "you probably shouldn't tell her that. what happens when you're old?"
Isabel: "you die."
Daddy: "no, I mean what makes a person old?"
Isabel: "they look old"
Mommy: "you REALLY shouldn't tell Mamaw that!"
Daddy: "how can you tell a person is old?"
Isabel: "their hair turns yellow and sometimes falls out. They also get wrinkles. Like when you are in the bathtub for too long."
I will also include her lyrics from the song you wrote yesterday:
"Ooooh babe, babe....shimmy down, down, down....babe, babe, put the baby in the carseat....like our Daddy does.....shimmy down, down, ddddooooowwwwnnnn!"
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Kalen, the karate master
While he is SUPPOSED to be in time out in his room, I hear "hi-yah! kee-yah!" I open the door to find that Kalen has stacked three packages of unopened diapers and is trying to "break them in half with his foot". Like they do when they break boards in martial arts! Yeah, he's starting young!
Friday, March 1, 2013
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