Emotional rollercoasters anyone?

So June was not the best month for me....I found myself often asking "am I really ready for this?"  And it wasn't always in reference to the little bundle of joy in my belly.  Throughout the past month I ended up "spotting" a few days and ended running back and forth to the doctor about every two weeks just to check the baby's heartbeat.  Add that to two pediatrician appts (one routine check-up for Sam and one sick visit for Isabel) and taking Isabel to the lab to have 5 vials of blood drawn (not fun for anyone involved!).  And I end up dragging around three active children to various places, all while on "limited activity" from my OB.  And on the days when I'm not taking them on mandatory appointments, we were confined to the house because I was afraid of doing too much.  Often with the kids destroying the house and me not having any interest/energy to clean, I would say "Greta, are you really ready for this?"  Am I really ready to give of myself every single day often with little gratitude or sympathy?  I know, right?  It's a little late to be asking yourself this:)
Then last week, after a great visit to the Indy Children's Museum, we came home to no electricity.  It was tough getting everyone to bed that night but we survived and the electric came back on that night.  Not too rough.....until two days later, the second wind storm blew through and knocked out our power for 24 hrs in 90 degree heat.  Oh, and the kids and I watched our swingset get picked up by the wind and blown into the neighbor's fence (can you say traumatizing?)!  But hey, count your blessings, right?  At least it was the swingset and a fence as opposed to our house and anything else!  Still after having three young children in the house with no electricity, I ask "are you really ready for this?"
And the truth is that I don't think I am ever ready for this!  We never know what challenges we'll face and what we view as challenges, others might feel are simply adventures!  Life is not predictable.  I can never be prepared for everything!  I sure can try but honestly, anyone who says they are prepared for motherhood is delusional (and she may have been driven mad by her children).  I'm scared to death to add one more child to this mix that I call home BUT I will do it! Why?  Because I will never be ready for this but at least I'm giving it my best.  And when my kids are older, they will laugh at their mom but they will know that she loved them through any and all circumstances! And that's what it's really about!  When you're old and a little bit batty, your kids and grandkids will say "Mom lost her mind a long time ago but she's always had her big heart!"  At least I hope that's what they'll say!  Either way I guess this emotional rollercoaster that I've been on this past month is okay b/c rollercoasters are fun, right?  Well, I'll keep telling myself that anyway.........

swingset meets fence