Lately, I've been pondering how commited I get to a task. I tend to do something/anything with 110% of myself. While most might think that is a great thing...it has its downside. For instance, I tend to drive myself crazy with the details, I get easily overwhelmed by something that should be simple, and sometimes I find myself volunteering for a monumental project when I could've just cruised through it. I give you two examples:
One, Kurtis is on the Home Owners Association Board. It came along as an opportunity for him to use his recently acquired M.B.A. I thought it would give him a taste of management and business side of things while still keeping him in touch with our community. I didn't count on his procrastination working against me nor some of our neighbors essentially campaigning to have the board disbanded. What resulted was 5 of the 7 committee members resigning for one reason or another, leaving Kurtis to act as Pres, Vice-Pres, and Treasurer for a short time. Now we are up to 5 committee members but Kurtis is still treasurer. He is responsible for sending out monthly bills and such. Last year, we made a great switch to use coupon books (with coupons for each month) resulting in us needing to simply deposit the checks each month. I stepped up to help my husband who is always so busy with family, church, and work. Then Kurtis decided this year that it would be easier if WE made the coupon books ourselves....simple, right? Yeah, except for my husband is a procrastinator. I blame myself. I knew this when I married him and thought it would be okay. Until I find myself spending an entire weekend making 30 coupon books and trying to make sure that they get out in the mail the next day b/c the bills are due at the end of the week! Add that to the woman is acting secretary. She's a single gal, kids are grown up and out of the house, and she is supposed to type up the minutes, send out ballots each year, etc. Except she doesn't. Supposedly she doesn't have a printer at home. She only types up the minutes every 3 months and she can't possibly send out newsletters and ballots b/c she doesn't have a printer. She actually came into my home, with my 4 little kids running around in jammies and eating donuts while I'm making 30 coupon books, to complain that the responsibility was too much and she needed to resign! I later complained to Kurtis that I feel her integrity is faltering. If you decide to do something, be commited to it! Don't give me excuses that it's hard or that you don't know how to do it. Yeah, it's hard! Yeah, it takes time! Yeah, you often do not see the rewards but your name is on the line! Your reputation, your dependability, your integrity is on the line! Are you going to MAN UP and do what is asked or are you going to give me every reason in the book why you can't do simple tasks...and yeah, sometime the hard tasks too.
Second example comes from my most recent calling. A calling is something that us Mormon people do. Our church has no paid leaders. Every thing is volunteer, including our Bishop (which the equivalent of a minister). So I was "called" to be Cubmaster. Now, my mother has asked me repeatedly, even once today, if I could say NO to the calling. The answer is yes, I could've said no but why? Was I not willing to put the effort in? My integrity was on the line. Am I a woman of my word? When the Lord says "Greta, I'd like you to do this. It is a lot of work. It will be hard and at times, you will not like it. But will you do it for me? Will you put in the effort b/c I, your Heavenly Father has asked this of you? I will even promise you blessings if you say yes. Not to mention, how your sons will benefit from your efforts. And how you will be an example to others to do the hard, not fun, sometimes stinky jobs." So I said yes and have found myself in a constant state of worry, busy-ness, and need to do things. And sure I could only put in the required work but why do that? If I'm going to do this, I want it to be done with all of my being, all of my heart, all of my sweat. So I find myself cutting and sewing 20 mother's lanyards for the Blue Gold Banquet in Feb. Could I have said "that's too much work?" Yeah, but when I'm done making these dag-gone things, I will be proud of myself. I will know I did my best, my all, my heart. And that will mean something to someone, even if they don't say it to my face.
So as I sit here, and grumble and gripe and ask myself "why are you trying so hard?", I'm reminded that this is who I am. I'm not one to do something half-hearted or with a minimum of work. I'm all in, feet first, yelling YAHOO! at the top of my lungs. And I hope that someone, somewhere notices that I AM committed.
Monday, January 27, 2014
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Greta the Elf, too Big for a Shelf Dec. 2013
Some shots of my "Elfies" from 2013.
oh the reality of it all
When you are a little girl and pretend to be a mommy, you sweetly hold your babydoll while singing and rocking it to sleep. You don't realize that in reality, you will hold a kicking, screaming baby in the middle of the night while pacing for hours and praying that the Lord will suddenly knock your baby unconscious so you can catch 2 hrs of sleep before you have to get the older kids up for school.
When you are a little girl and pretend to be a mommy, you smile and laugh as you feed your babydoll a bottle. You don't realize that in reality, you will make ridiculous faces and noises while you try to force food into your baby's mouth only to have it spit and/or thrown back in your face.
When you are a little girl and pretend to be a mommy, you sweetly change your babydoll's clothes and diaper with the only difficulty being trying to bend the plastic doll's arms to get the shirt on the baby. You don't realize that in reality, your baby will produce a ridiculous amount of poop that will go ALL THE WAY up the child's back so that you have to put the baby in the bathtub to clean the baby off. You then have to clean the bathtub afterward to keep the bathtub from ending up with a "poop-ring" around it. After all that, you will have to tackle the baby and then gently sit on her to get clothing on her or else she will just pee all over the carpet.
When you are a little girl and pretend to be a wife, you imagine holding hands with your sweetheart. You imagine kissing him sweetly every evening when he comes home from work. And you imagine that you will see his face last thing before you go to sleep and first thing when you wake up. You don't realize that in reality, you never get to hold your husband's hand b/c there is always a child sitting in the middle of the two of you, often with another child on top of one or both you. When he walks in the door in the evening, before kissing him or even saying hello, you are usually handing him a screaming/crying child so you can get the dinner out of the oven. And the only time you see him at night is when you pass each other in the hallway....one is coming back from calming a crying child while the other is on the way to helping another one. And if you both are miraculously in the bed at the same time, you still don't see each other b/c there is yet another child in the middle of the two of you.
Yes, these are things that you don't imagine when you are a little girl. I always imagined being a wife and mother. I imagined staying at home and being that mom that was there for everything. I didn't imagine washing 5,798,324,139 loads of laundry....all in one week. I imagined cooking and doing dishes and serving people. I just didn't realize that meant cooking 3 times a day, every day, for the rest of my life. I pretended to drive the car back and forth to different activities. I didn't realize in reality that meant driving to LOTS of dr's visits, and going to school bus stops, or loading/unloading squiggly babies from carseats in freezing temps, snow, rain, mud, sweltering heat and so on.
No, there is a lot that I didn't realize the reality of when I was a little girl....or a teenager.....or a single 20-something. There is a lot that I don't realize as a 34yo mother of 4. There is so much to this "reality" that is my life. BUT I am so glad that this is my reality. Yep! I am.....now I'm gonna go scrub the bathtub!
When you are a little girl and pretend to be a mommy, you smile and laugh as you feed your babydoll a bottle. You don't realize that in reality, you will make ridiculous faces and noises while you try to force food into your baby's mouth only to have it spit and/or thrown back in your face.
When you are a little girl and pretend to be a mommy, you sweetly change your babydoll's clothes and diaper with the only difficulty being trying to bend the plastic doll's arms to get the shirt on the baby. You don't realize that in reality, your baby will produce a ridiculous amount of poop that will go ALL THE WAY up the child's back so that you have to put the baby in the bathtub to clean the baby off. You then have to clean the bathtub afterward to keep the bathtub from ending up with a "poop-ring" around it. After all that, you will have to tackle the baby and then gently sit on her to get clothing on her or else she will just pee all over the carpet.
When you are a little girl and pretend to be a wife, you imagine holding hands with your sweetheart. You imagine kissing him sweetly every evening when he comes home from work. And you imagine that you will see his face last thing before you go to sleep and first thing when you wake up. You don't realize that in reality, you never get to hold your husband's hand b/c there is always a child sitting in the middle of the two of you, often with another child on top of one or both you. When he walks in the door in the evening, before kissing him or even saying hello, you are usually handing him a screaming/crying child so you can get the dinner out of the oven. And the only time you see him at night is when you pass each other in the hallway....one is coming back from calming a crying child while the other is on the way to helping another one. And if you both are miraculously in the bed at the same time, you still don't see each other b/c there is yet another child in the middle of the two of you.
Yes, these are things that you don't imagine when you are a little girl. I always imagined being a wife and mother. I imagined staying at home and being that mom that was there for everything. I didn't imagine washing 5,798,324,139 loads of laundry....all in one week. I imagined cooking and doing dishes and serving people. I just didn't realize that meant cooking 3 times a day, every day, for the rest of my life. I pretended to drive the car back and forth to different activities. I didn't realize in reality that meant driving to LOTS of dr's visits, and going to school bus stops, or loading/unloading squiggly babies from carseats in freezing temps, snow, rain, mud, sweltering heat and so on.
No, there is a lot that I didn't realize the reality of when I was a little girl....or a teenager.....or a single 20-something. There is a lot that I don't realize as a 34yo mother of 4. There is so much to this "reality" that is my life. BUT I am so glad that this is my reality. Yep! I am.....now I'm gonna go scrub the bathtub!
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Kids sayings
While talking to the kids the other night, I said I wanted to get a new dog. Isabel asked me if we could get a girl dog and I responded that it was okay to get a girl dog but we didn't want her to have puppies b/c we didn't have room for more than one dog. Sammy quickly responded "yes, but she would have to be married and then we would have 2 dogs!" Kurtis and I just smiled at each other.
January....in with a bang!
Holy Cow; it's January! How did that even happen! I missed a bunch of things that happened in December so I kinda have to recap.
Izzy had a ballet and tap recital in December. She did great! I thought she might be nervous or not like the attention but of course, she loved it and it was so cute to see her all dressed up!
I somehow got in this ridiculous banter about the Elves on the Shelves. It seems like so many people I know have these creepy elf dolls that do silly, fun things each night in countdown to Christmas. I made the mistake of saying that b/c I was small and annoying, I should be Greta the Elf, too Big for a Shelf! That launched a ridiculous series of photos taken of myself each day doing dumb things. I would take the ever popular "selfie", renamed "Elfies" and post them on facebook. Of course, for Christmas Day, I HAD to dress as an elf and climb on top of a bookshelf to make everyone's Elf on the Shelf dreams come true! It was ridiculous.
We also attended Kurtis' work party which is always fun. I get to dress up and go dancing with the man of my dreams! Who doesn't love that!
Lastly, the Christmas 2013 Rundown:
Mostly for Sam he got games for his Nintendo 2DS or money but he also received a compound bow, a Marker Maker Set, and Legos.
Isabel's highlight was her American Girl Bitty Baby Doll with accessories.
Kalen got more Big Boots and TWO Optimus Prime car carriers. He was in heaven.
Zeke just got toys, toys and more toys! The kid is set for life!
Kurtis and I didn't get a ton of gifts but primarily just enjoyed our little family and the joys we have together.
Izzy had a ballet and tap recital in December. She did great! I thought she might be nervous or not like the attention but of course, she loved it and it was so cute to see her all dressed up!
I somehow got in this ridiculous banter about the Elves on the Shelves. It seems like so many people I know have these creepy elf dolls that do silly, fun things each night in countdown to Christmas. I made the mistake of saying that b/c I was small and annoying, I should be Greta the Elf, too Big for a Shelf! That launched a ridiculous series of photos taken of myself each day doing dumb things. I would take the ever popular "selfie", renamed "Elfies" and post them on facebook. Of course, for Christmas Day, I HAD to dress as an elf and climb on top of a bookshelf to make everyone's Elf on the Shelf dreams come true! It was ridiculous.
We also attended Kurtis' work party which is always fun. I get to dress up and go dancing with the man of my dreams! Who doesn't love that!
Lastly, the Christmas 2013 Rundown:
Mostly for Sam he got games for his Nintendo 2DS or money but he also received a compound bow, a Marker Maker Set, and Legos.
Isabel's highlight was her American Girl Bitty Baby Doll with accessories.
Kalen got more Big Boots and TWO Optimus Prime car carriers. He was in heaven.
Zeke just got toys, toys and more toys! The kid is set for life!
Kurtis and I didn't get a ton of gifts but primarily just enjoyed our little family and the joys we have together.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
is troublemaker my middle name?
So, last night at a ladies' activity at church, a friend of mine with a smile on her face and a cute little voice said that I was a troublemaker. I've been thinking about it all day and I'd like to share my conclusion. I do not believe myself to be a troublemaker. I AM a mischief maker but I believe them to be two different things. I've been known to play devil's advocate and I will talk in a circle like any good philosopher will but I don't like to start trouble. I won't run away from a fight. I'm not afraid of confrontation, esp. if I feel like I'm defending someone I care about. But I do not actively seek out fights, arguments, or controversy.
I do enjoy teasing and sarcasm. I am "snarky" when I feel defensive. And I poke fun....at everyone...but mainly myself. I'm so good at putting myself down that I probably don't give myself enough credit.
With that being said, I find myself evaluating my behavior (and others' behavior as well) lately. I started this goofy thing about the Elf on the Shelf. A lot of friends have purchased these elf dolls and each night put together an elaborate scenario of "elf magic" that their children absolutely love. They take pictures and post them on facebook. I'm sure they are doing great family traditions that their kids will forever remember. Every time I try to start a family tradition my kids usually complain until I give up. These Elves are pretty creative and take a lot of effort. I have no qualms with anyone who likes doing it. It just happens that about 15 people I know do this tradition and so every day in the month of December, I see several posts of elves. With that being said, last year I made a snarky remark about the posts...not about anyone in particular, just a comment about the tradition. A friend made a comment about me posting about my kids all the time in place of an elf. I laughed it off and when she started her elf tradition this year, I gave her a hard time. It then started a mischievous tradition that I just began called "Greta the Elf, too big for a Shelf". Mainly my tradition takes me doing mundane activities with a goofy look on my face and taking a "selfie". Then I post it to facebook and everyone laughs at me (and to be honest, I laugh at myself). It's all in good fun. But as I thought of my behavior this week, I hope that everyone else knows that it is in all good fun. I don't want or mean to "start trouble".
Now, last night, a few other people made slight comments to me about my behavior. I paused wondering if I'm being understood. Perhaps I'm too jovial....or sarcastic....or maybe I'm just not sensitive to others. This is a serious point for me b/c I have an issue with a few "friends" that I feel are not sensitive to others. They routinely make comments to me that offend me, hurt my feelings, and sometimes downright honk. me. off! I'm certain that they have no idea that they do it. I'm certain that they don't mean to do it. And I wonder if I brought it up to them how would they react? Do I do the same to others? Do I offend, hurt feelings or honk others off? I don't mean to. As I stated, I'm not a troublemaker.
I'm fiercely loyal...I will fight tooth and nail for my loved ones (family and friends included). I will not back down from defending someone I care about and I've been known to fight for the honor of others (even when they don't necessarily want me to). I won't run from a confrontation. Sometimes confrontation can be a good thing and is necessary. I truly believe that. I honestly believe that sometimes things have to be fought over to be resolved. With that being said, I'm not afraid of a fight (even ones where I know I may not win).
Still I find myself getting frustrated with some people who upset me, offend me, or just come off as "trouble" and I find myself being afraid that others see me as "trouble". I don't want to be trouble. I want to be funny, goofy, and lovable. I hope that I can work harder at coming off as mischievous and not trouble. But also that I can note when others don't mean to be trouble but are simply misunderstood.
I do enjoy teasing and sarcasm. I am "snarky" when I feel defensive. And I poke fun....at everyone...but mainly myself. I'm so good at putting myself down that I probably don't give myself enough credit.
With that being said, I find myself evaluating my behavior (and others' behavior as well) lately. I started this goofy thing about the Elf on the Shelf. A lot of friends have purchased these elf dolls and each night put together an elaborate scenario of "elf magic" that their children absolutely love. They take pictures and post them on facebook. I'm sure they are doing great family traditions that their kids will forever remember. Every time I try to start a family tradition my kids usually complain until I give up. These Elves are pretty creative and take a lot of effort. I have no qualms with anyone who likes doing it. It just happens that about 15 people I know do this tradition and so every day in the month of December, I see several posts of elves. With that being said, last year I made a snarky remark about the posts...not about anyone in particular, just a comment about the tradition. A friend made a comment about me posting about my kids all the time in place of an elf. I laughed it off and when she started her elf tradition this year, I gave her a hard time. It then started a mischievous tradition that I just began called "Greta the Elf, too big for a Shelf". Mainly my tradition takes me doing mundane activities with a goofy look on my face and taking a "selfie". Then I post it to facebook and everyone laughs at me (and to be honest, I laugh at myself). It's all in good fun. But as I thought of my behavior this week, I hope that everyone else knows that it is in all good fun. I don't want or mean to "start trouble".
Now, last night, a few other people made slight comments to me about my behavior. I paused wondering if I'm being understood. Perhaps I'm too jovial....or sarcastic....or maybe I'm just not sensitive to others. This is a serious point for me b/c I have an issue with a few "friends" that I feel are not sensitive to others. They routinely make comments to me that offend me, hurt my feelings, and sometimes downright honk. me. off! I'm certain that they have no idea that they do it. I'm certain that they don't mean to do it. And I wonder if I brought it up to them how would they react? Do I do the same to others? Do I offend, hurt feelings or honk others off? I don't mean to. As I stated, I'm not a troublemaker.
I'm fiercely loyal...I will fight tooth and nail for my loved ones (family and friends included). I will not back down from defending someone I care about and I've been known to fight for the honor of others (even when they don't necessarily want me to). I won't run from a confrontation. Sometimes confrontation can be a good thing and is necessary. I truly believe that. I honestly believe that sometimes things have to be fought over to be resolved. With that being said, I'm not afraid of a fight (even ones where I know I may not win).
Still I find myself getting frustrated with some people who upset me, offend me, or just come off as "trouble" and I find myself being afraid that others see me as "trouble". I don't want to be trouble. I want to be funny, goofy, and lovable. I hope that I can work harder at coming off as mischievous and not trouble. But also that I can note when others don't mean to be trouble but are simply misunderstood.
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