"this one's for the children"

So lately, life in the Eber household has been a litte strenuous!  We're working really hard to help Sam adjust to his counselor and work through his emotional meltdowns and Kurtis and I are feeling the strain.  I think Kurtis is struggling with this problem that he can't fix.  Men are "problem solvers" and having a problem that he can't just "solve" is difficult for him.  My struggle comes from the fact that Sam is alot like me.  Most of these issues: the being over sensitive, being a perfectionist, worrying, and caring so much about doing well all are traits that I possess too.  I was blaming myself b/c "he gets these traits from me so it must be my fault".  But in a conversation with a good friend of mine and also the Bishop of our church, Jeremy said that these common traits that Sam and I share were traits of our spirits before we came to earth.  In our faith, we believe we had a premortal existence...one that included our personalities before we received our earthly bodies.  So Sam and I were "kindred spirits" sharing similar personalities.  Maybe my Heavenly Father sent Sam to me so that I could use our similar traits to help him through his struggles.  Instead of being the cause of his strong personality, I'm meant to be a help through his struggles.  I've been entrusted to help him when he doesn't know how to work through his emotions.  Some people would say "well duh!"  But for me this came as a profound insight!  Something that I hadn't even considered.  I just assumed all his faults and struggles as my own and felt not only as a failure myself but as failing my son as well.  What a deep effect this has on me....to realize that even though I'm not sure how I'm meant to help him through this, I CAN help him through this and I WILL help him through this.  And maybe we'll have a stronger connection as mother and son because of it.
With that being said, I always talk about how strong-willed Isabel is but the other day I had a brief moment of pure gratitude toward my little girl.  Isabel is only six years old; she is the only girl in a house full of brothers; she is a girl who knows her worth.  Kurtis had been at work all day, had taken Sam to an evening dr appt and then went to scouts with Sam.  I had hurried everyone through homework and dinner and was sitting next Zeke while he took FOREVER to eat his dinner.  I desperately wanted a few minutes to myself and to be honest, I needed to use the bathroom.  I asked Izzy to sit next to Zeke's highchair and just help him eat and watch that he didn't choke as he ate.  She stopped in the middle of her coloring, came and sat with her baby brother and made him smile while I hid in the bathroom for just two or three minutes of solitude.  It made me think back to when Zeke was first born and Kurtis and Sam would rush off to work and school.  Isabel would often get up with Daddy and feed Zeke a bottle while Daddy got ready for work.  Then Kurtis would put Zeke back in his crib and Izzy would watch TV, all while I got to sleep in an extra 30 or so minutes.  What a beloved little girl to let Mommy sleep a little bit extra while she, 6 years old and kindergartener, would feed her little brother!  I'm so grateful to Isabel for being such a sweet girl who "mothers" her brothers and helps me when I'm overwhelmed.
I truly have just wonderful little people in my home and my biggest hope and desire is that they grow up knowing how much I love them, how much I treasure being their mother, and no matter who they become, I will always consider them my best successes!