Thursday, October 3, 2013
a chance to teach again
My last year of teaching music in the public school setting was 2003-2004. Long story short, the principal and I had a difference of opinion and I was told constantly throughout that year how I was a terrible teacher, I had no business teaching kids and I "lacked enthusiasm" as a classroom teacher. Kurtis and I had just married and were hoping to have kids so I went ahead and quit teaching, thinking this was the Lord's way of giving me an easy out. But over the years, I have thought alot about what she said. I felt that I was a horrible teacher, that I could never go back to teaching, that I had failed in the life calling. I've even had recurrent nightmares that I couldn't get a teaching job. Last Jan, I was asked to teach music to the children at church. I've been doing it since. I was so worried (am still worried) that I wouldn't be good at it, that I would damage the kids somehow by teaching it incorrectly. This month I've been asked to teach a class for other music teachers from different congregations in our area. I'm to give a 45 minute lesson on techniques to help the kids learn. What a humbling and overwhelming gift I've been given! A chance to redeem myself and maybe see that teaching is a calling that I don't have to give up!
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
The gift of gab
I am a talker. I've been one most of my life. My mom likes to say that I was over 2 years old when I finally started talking and they haven't shut me up since! I just talk a lot. I can be quiet and I do have moments where I enjoy the silence but for the most part, I find quiet and silence awkward. So often, when in crowds, I'll talk...to anyone...anyone sitting next to me, standing in front of me in the checkout line, someone walking down the sidewalk next to me. I'll talk to anyone just to simply have a good conversation. But here is why it is on my mind lately...
I've had a few people tell me how I talk so much. It bothers them or they question why I can talk about anything to anyone. And here is why I think that is.
First, I talk through situations and trials. Not because talking about the problem solves the problem but simply b/c talking about the problem makes me feel better. I feel better when I'm going through something to tell people about what I'm going through. I'm not a "suffer in silence" type of girl. Some people are and that's okay. In fact, I have a few close friends that can go through SERIOUS trials in their lives and not tell a soul. They might even consider me a dear friend but they aren't going to tell me that they have cancer until I pry it out of them (true story). That's their perogative and I'm okay with that. But for me, I like to talk it out. Lay out all my cards on the table. If you ask me how I am, I'm going to tell you honestly--whether I'm good, bad, or ugly, I'll tell you. And I think that's okay too. It's what works for me.
Second, I find almost always that when I talk through something especially a trial or hardship, someone else appreciates hearing it. So many times people will tell me "I'm glad you said something" or "I'm going through the same thing and haven't talked about it" or "I needed to hear that". Misery does indeed love company. Sometimes when you're crying and life sucks, it's so nice to have someone to commiserate with. I know that sounds silly or wrong but it's true. Sometimes when someone else's day stinks just as bad as my day stinks, I feel not quite so alone! It's just true. So I like thinking that by talking things out, I'm helping or affecting other people. My talking can be a gift. It can help other people feel less inhibited in talking through things.
Lastly, this is who I am. In the scriptures, there is a passage talking about the "tongue of angels", "the language of angels", and describing such as a gift. I'm not saying I'm an angel. Nor will I say that my incessant speech is any way a divine attribute. But I do like to think that sometimes I'm inspired to talk to someone that needed to hear something. Or maybe they just needed someone to talk to them, to acknowledge them...sometimes a stranger smiling at me and saying hello in WalMart makes my day! Wouldn't it be amazing if you just made the checkout lady's day simply by saying "hello, how's your day going? Is it busy today or are you getting a little break?"
I'm not saying that all speech that comes out of my mouth is good. And I know there are people out there that would prefer I keep my opinion to myself. But this is on my mind today. Yes, I talk alot. Yes, most of my talk is fluff. And frequently, most of my speech is grumpy and complaining. But I think that there are people out there who need to talk. They need to be heard. One of my greatest fears in life is that I will leave this world and not be missed. Truly! I'm so scared that I will die and no one will come to my funeral. So, if you're around when I die, come to my funeral, share stories of how I would never shut up and sometimes you wanted to slap me silly but remember that there were times when you needed to hear what I had to say. If that happens, I think I'll probably be pretty satisfied that I had a good gift of gab.
I've had a few people tell me how I talk so much. It bothers them or they question why I can talk about anything to anyone. And here is why I think that is.
First, I talk through situations and trials. Not because talking about the problem solves the problem but simply b/c talking about the problem makes me feel better. I feel better when I'm going through something to tell people about what I'm going through. I'm not a "suffer in silence" type of girl. Some people are and that's okay. In fact, I have a few close friends that can go through SERIOUS trials in their lives and not tell a soul. They might even consider me a dear friend but they aren't going to tell me that they have cancer until I pry it out of them (true story). That's their perogative and I'm okay with that. But for me, I like to talk it out. Lay out all my cards on the table. If you ask me how I am, I'm going to tell you honestly--whether I'm good, bad, or ugly, I'll tell you. And I think that's okay too. It's what works for me.
Second, I find almost always that when I talk through something especially a trial or hardship, someone else appreciates hearing it. So many times people will tell me "I'm glad you said something" or "I'm going through the same thing and haven't talked about it" or "I needed to hear that". Misery does indeed love company. Sometimes when you're crying and life sucks, it's so nice to have someone to commiserate with. I know that sounds silly or wrong but it's true. Sometimes when someone else's day stinks just as bad as my day stinks, I feel not quite so alone! It's just true. So I like thinking that by talking things out, I'm helping or affecting other people. My talking can be a gift. It can help other people feel less inhibited in talking through things.
Lastly, this is who I am. In the scriptures, there is a passage talking about the "tongue of angels", "the language of angels", and describing such as a gift. I'm not saying I'm an angel. Nor will I say that my incessant speech is any way a divine attribute. But I do like to think that sometimes I'm inspired to talk to someone that needed to hear something. Or maybe they just needed someone to talk to them, to acknowledge them...sometimes a stranger smiling at me and saying hello in WalMart makes my day! Wouldn't it be amazing if you just made the checkout lady's day simply by saying "hello, how's your day going? Is it busy today or are you getting a little break?"
I'm not saying that all speech that comes out of my mouth is good. And I know there are people out there that would prefer I keep my opinion to myself. But this is on my mind today. Yes, I talk alot. Yes, most of my talk is fluff. And frequently, most of my speech is grumpy and complaining. But I think that there are people out there who need to talk. They need to be heard. One of my greatest fears in life is that I will leave this world and not be missed. Truly! I'm so scared that I will die and no one will come to my funeral. So, if you're around when I die, come to my funeral, share stories of how I would never shut up and sometimes you wanted to slap me silly but remember that there were times when you needed to hear what I had to say. If that happens, I think I'll probably be pretty satisfied that I had a good gift of gab.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
My real age
Kurtis' dad had a stroke two weeks ago and it took us all by surprise. Charles is a young 74 years old and still does hikes and camp outs with his 11 year old scouts. With that being said, I often say that Charles at 74yo is healthier than my parents at 64yo. But when confronted with this new development, the Eber kids were all talking and the comment "Dad needs to act his age" came up. Some of us (myself included) want him to take it easy from the hiking and the camping while others think he should do what he likes to do and is physically capable to do no matter his age. It's all been a very interesting thing and has caused me to ponder my own AGE and how I should be acting and so here it is:
I like to think that I'm living my ideal age. Now my ideal age, my REAL AGE, is not a number. It's a mindset. I like to think that I'm YOUNG ENOUGH that I'm still cool to the younger generation. I'm YOUNG ENOUGH to be in touch with the younger generation and what they like. I'm YOUNG ENOUGH to have fun and be whimsical and carefree. But I'm also OLD ENOUGH to have wisdom to offer the younger generation. I'm OLD ENOUGH to appreciate and have learned from my past experiences, good and bad. But I'm also YOUNG ENOUGH to hope for more experiences, good and bad. I'm OLD ENOUGH to know that I don't know everything but YOUNG ENOUGH to keep learning. I'm OLD ENOUGH to know better and YOUNG ENOUGH to sometimes not care :) I like to think that I'm at the ideal age, the real age I want to be. It's not a 20s, 30s, or 40s thing. It's the age where I appreciate my life and see my growth but at the same time, I hope I have more growing to do and look forward to doing it. I just want to be YOUNG, OLD ENOUGH to always look around me and appreciate, love, and keep dreaming.
I like to think that I'm living my ideal age. Now my ideal age, my REAL AGE, is not a number. It's a mindset. I like to think that I'm YOUNG ENOUGH that I'm still cool to the younger generation. I'm YOUNG ENOUGH to be in touch with the younger generation and what they like. I'm YOUNG ENOUGH to have fun and be whimsical and carefree. But I'm also OLD ENOUGH to have wisdom to offer the younger generation. I'm OLD ENOUGH to appreciate and have learned from my past experiences, good and bad. But I'm also YOUNG ENOUGH to hope for more experiences, good and bad. I'm OLD ENOUGH to know that I don't know everything but YOUNG ENOUGH to keep learning. I'm OLD ENOUGH to know better and YOUNG ENOUGH to sometimes not care :) I like to think that I'm at the ideal age, the real age I want to be. It's not a 20s, 30s, or 40s thing. It's the age where I appreciate my life and see my growth but at the same time, I hope I have more growing to do and look forward to doing it. I just want to be YOUNG, OLD ENOUGH to always look around me and appreciate, love, and keep dreaming.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
One year older and wiser too?
When I was 17yo, I was a senior in high school. I was going to graduate in May and start college in the Fall. Two weeks after starting Wittenberg Univ, I turned 18! I knew myself (or so I thought). I was a good person. I was smart and I knew where I wanted to go and who I was.
By the time I turned 22, I had graduated college in the spring and was just beginning my career as a teacher! I had my own apartment, I had a good job that I loved, and I knew who I was and what I wanted.....though I had discovered along the way that I was not who I thought I was at 18 and I was not where I thought I would be. I was still a good person, I thought I was smart and I thought I turned out pretty good.
By 25yo, I was a newlywed (married a little over a year), expecting my first child and giving up my "career" to become a mother! I owned a house (with my husband), I had dinner on the table when he got home from work. I felt I was even smarter than before and I REALLY knew I was.
By the time I was 30, I was expecting my THIRD child! We were in the process of buying our second home (and trying to sell our first) and I had learned that motherhood was my career (one that I would never retire from). By then I was certain of who I was and I was starting to realize that I was not any wiser than when I was 17!
In a few days I will turn the wizened 34 years of age. In all my time on earth I have earned a high school diploma and a Bachelor's degree. I have had a teaching career and learned a viable skill using music and sharing my passion of it. I have married (and so far, stayed married) to an amazing man who loves me unconditionally and quite honestly, he puts up with all my crud when I'm pretty sure everyone else would run from if they could. I have given birth to four amazingly beautiful, healthy and vibrant children (and no, I'm not biased in the least). I consider myself a somewhat knowledgable woman though I'm sure I lack certain common sense. But as I think about this past year and the ups and downs, I'm not sure I'm any wiser. I think I know who I am but I REALLY know who I want to be.....I'm just not her yet. I'm not as patient as she is. I'm not as compassionate as she is. I'm not nearly as smart as she is. And well, I just don't know if I'll ever be as beautiful as she is BUT I'm trying! I'm a little more tolerant than last year. I'm way better at sympathizing than I was last year. I'm trying to complain less (some days are better than others). I try to work harder and even play harder as well. I volunteer more than last year. And I'm learning to be kinder in my honesty.
What I'm trying to say is...I know I have a lot of things to improve upon. I still don't really know who I am but I know who I'm not. I know what I've accomplished. I know what I want to still achieve. I don't mind getting older as long as I still enjoy the good things, the fun things, the things that make life worth living, the things that keep you young in spite of your age. So I'll smile when my birthday comes along and I'll remind myself that the Greta I am at 34yo is still a good Greta...until she gets even better!
By the time I turned 22, I had graduated college in the spring and was just beginning my career as a teacher! I had my own apartment, I had a good job that I loved, and I knew who I was and what I wanted.....though I had discovered along the way that I was not who I thought I was at 18 and I was not where I thought I would be. I was still a good person, I thought I was smart and I thought I turned out pretty good.
By 25yo, I was a newlywed (married a little over a year), expecting my first child and giving up my "career" to become a mother! I owned a house (with my husband), I had dinner on the table when he got home from work. I felt I was even smarter than before and I REALLY knew I was.
By the time I was 30, I was expecting my THIRD child! We were in the process of buying our second home (and trying to sell our first) and I had learned that motherhood was my career (one that I would never retire from). By then I was certain of who I was and I was starting to realize that I was not any wiser than when I was 17!
In a few days I will turn the wizened 34 years of age. In all my time on earth I have earned a high school diploma and a Bachelor's degree. I have had a teaching career and learned a viable skill using music and sharing my passion of it. I have married (and so far, stayed married) to an amazing man who loves me unconditionally and quite honestly, he puts up with all my crud when I'm pretty sure everyone else would run from if they could. I have given birth to four amazingly beautiful, healthy and vibrant children (and no, I'm not biased in the least). I consider myself a somewhat knowledgable woman though I'm sure I lack certain common sense. But as I think about this past year and the ups and downs, I'm not sure I'm any wiser. I think I know who I am but I REALLY know who I want to be.....I'm just not her yet. I'm not as patient as she is. I'm not as compassionate as she is. I'm not nearly as smart as she is. And well, I just don't know if I'll ever be as beautiful as she is BUT I'm trying! I'm a little more tolerant than last year. I'm way better at sympathizing than I was last year. I'm trying to complain less (some days are better than others). I try to work harder and even play harder as well. I volunteer more than last year. And I'm learning to be kinder in my honesty.
What I'm trying to say is...I know I have a lot of things to improve upon. I still don't really know who I am but I know who I'm not. I know what I've accomplished. I know what I want to still achieve. I don't mind getting older as long as I still enjoy the good things, the fun things, the things that make life worth living, the things that keep you young in spite of your age. So I'll smile when my birthday comes along and I'll remind myself that the Greta I am at 34yo is still a good Greta...until she gets even better!
Monday, September 2, 2013
a month in the life of Zeke
Just a fun idea to post monthly pics of Zeke now that he is 9 months. Just curious to see how he's grown....take a look!
Starting Sept off right
Well, so much for catching up and staying caught up! I totally blew off the last week of August and now we're in Sept! Woo, better get caught up....again.....
So Kalen had his first day of preschool and LOVED IT! He is going to the same preschool Sammy went to and even though we haven't been there for a few years his teachers both said "he's just like Sam." I found it a little surprising b/c I have in my memory that Sam was a little more mellow than Kalen but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I just keep telling myself that. Needless to say, last week Kalen was great. He doesn't cry when he gets dropped off, just runs to play. He told my sister today that he has "lots of friends". On Thursday as we were leaving, he made me walk back into the school (we were already in the parking lot) so he could tell Mrs. Frey goodbye! He really enjoys getting his bookbag on and going with Daddy and the older kids to go school. The last three days he's gone to school, he has been dressed and wearing his backpack before I'm even out of bed. I hope he keeps loving school this much.
Sammy has been growing a garden in Cub Scouts this summer and in May he came home with Sunflower seeds. We planted them and boy did they grow! He's been so proud of them and I'm happy to see him work hard at something and then have it come to fruition...literally! He also enjoyed picking his tomatoes and then going around one Monday evening and passing them out to friends. It really brought him a lot of joy!
This past weekend we drove to Michigan to stay and visit with Kurtis' brother Kelly and family. The kids had a blast. Kelly and Chalene were married the same year as Kurtis and I and every year one of us has had a kid so has the other so:
We have Sam (8yo) they have Evan (8yo). We have Iz (6yo), they have Benjamin (6yo). They have Kayla (4yo), we have Kal (soon to be 4yo) and we both had babies in 2012: Savannah and Zeke. So it's fun when the kids get together and have time to play. Evan was getting baptized and it was so sweet to be there and be a part of it. I know Kurtis loves supporting his brother and being able to watch his nephews/nieces grow up. It was a good time.
So Kalen had his first day of preschool and LOVED IT! He is going to the same preschool Sammy went to and even though we haven't been there for a few years his teachers both said "he's just like Sam." I found it a little surprising b/c I have in my memory that Sam was a little more mellow than Kalen but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I just keep telling myself that. Needless to say, last week Kalen was great. He doesn't cry when he gets dropped off, just runs to play. He told my sister today that he has "lots of friends". On Thursday as we were leaving, he made me walk back into the school (we were already in the parking lot) so he could tell Mrs. Frey goodbye! He really enjoys getting his bookbag on and going with Daddy and the older kids to go school. The last three days he's gone to school, he has been dressed and wearing his backpack before I'm even out of bed. I hope he keeps loving school this much.
Sammy has been growing a garden in Cub Scouts this summer and in May he came home with Sunflower seeds. We planted them and boy did they grow! He's been so proud of them and I'm happy to see him work hard at something and then have it come to fruition...literally! He also enjoyed picking his tomatoes and then going around one Monday evening and passing them out to friends. It really brought him a lot of joy!
This past weekend we drove to Michigan to stay and visit with Kurtis' brother Kelly and family. The kids had a blast. Kelly and Chalene were married the same year as Kurtis and I and every year one of us has had a kid so has the other so:
We have Sam (8yo) they have Evan (8yo). We have Iz (6yo), they have Benjamin (6yo). They have Kayla (4yo), we have Kal (soon to be 4yo) and we both had babies in 2012: Savannah and Zeke. So it's fun when the kids get together and have time to play. Evan was getting baptized and it was so sweet to be there and be a part of it. I know Kurtis loves supporting his brother and being able to watch his nephews/nieces grow up. It was a good time.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
catching up with August
The month of August has been a busy one and I feel like I've not been good at keeping up with it at all.
We started the month on a high note: Sammy's baptism. Sammy turned eight in May and we decided to postpone his baptism until all of Kurtis' family came to visit this summer. When we found out that the Utah crew would be pulling in on Sat August 3rd, I got really excited. August 3 marked my baptism into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and I was able to watch my son get baptized on the same day in the same place 11 years after his mom. What made the day more special was the fact that my husband's family was in attendance (minus a few) and my parents and sisters all attended. Sammy was baptized with his cousin May Lee and we had around 100 people crammed into a small room to see it happen. Sammy also had two school friends attend which was super fun. I don't think he knew that he could bring together "school" and "church" so it was a neat experience for him.
The day started with some surprises. Kurtis' sisters were supposed to head out on Wed toward Ohio. Shortly after leaving, one sister had a vehicle break down and they were stuck in Denver until Friday 1:00pm. Kurtis' mom didn't want to freak me out so she didn't tell me until Sat morning! Needless to say, it freaked me out! Around noon on Saturday (the baptism was at 5:00pm), Kurtis' sister called to say that they had driven straight from Colorado and were going to surprise everyone by getting there in time for the baptism! They made it and it was a fun surprise despite the fear that they wouldn't make it.
In addition, earlier on Sat morning, my mom called to tell me that my great Aunt Fern (my grandpa's sister) had passed away unexpectedly that day. Grandpa had passed away in April and Aunt Fern was like a surrogate grandma to my kids. Aunt Fern had a daughter born on May 4 (same day as Sammy) and her daughter passed away when she was still a teenager. When I had Sammy on the same day, Aunt Fern instantly made a connection to him. She sent him birthday and Christmas presents, Easter baskets and talked about my kids a great deal. She felt very close to my kids. For her to pass on Sammy's baptism day was a crazy thing. My family and I like to think that she was there for Sammy's baptism. I think she still feels that connection to him and was watching out for him in a way that we couldn't predict. It was bittersweet but I found a peace in her passing.
Once all of Kurtis' family made into town, we had what I like to call "Everything Eber week". Every other year, the whole family meets up in Kettering and we spend about 10 days together just being together. This year I counted 41 Ebers participating in the festivities! It is a bit insane! We had the baptism of Sam and May, Field Day, went swimming, frisbee golfing, went to Young's Dairy, Cox Arboretum, Kettering Rec Center and much more! It was a fun time and we're always sad when we have to see everyone go. It is particularly hard b/c we only see the children every other year and they grow up so quickly. Kurtis' niece Kaylee who really gave me a fit for marrying her Uncle Kurtis is now going to college for her freshman year and has a "boyfriend". I'm just not used to it all yet.
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We started the month on a high note: Sammy's baptism. Sammy turned eight in May and we decided to postpone his baptism until all of Kurtis' family came to visit this summer. When we found out that the Utah crew would be pulling in on Sat August 3rd, I got really excited. August 3 marked my baptism into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and I was able to watch my son get baptized on the same day in the same place 11 years after his mom. What made the day more special was the fact that my husband's family was in attendance (minus a few) and my parents and sisters all attended. Sammy was baptized with his cousin May Lee and we had around 100 people crammed into a small room to see it happen. Sammy also had two school friends attend which was super fun. I don't think he knew that he could bring together "school" and "church" so it was a neat experience for him.
The day started with some surprises. Kurtis' sisters were supposed to head out on Wed toward Ohio. Shortly after leaving, one sister had a vehicle break down and they were stuck in Denver until Friday 1:00pm. Kurtis' mom didn't want to freak me out so she didn't tell me until Sat morning! Needless to say, it freaked me out! Around noon on Saturday (the baptism was at 5:00pm), Kurtis' sister called to say that they had driven straight from Colorado and were going to surprise everyone by getting there in time for the baptism! They made it and it was a fun surprise despite the fear that they wouldn't make it.
In addition, earlier on Sat morning, my mom called to tell me that my great Aunt Fern (my grandpa's sister) had passed away unexpectedly that day. Grandpa had passed away in April and Aunt Fern was like a surrogate grandma to my kids. Aunt Fern had a daughter born on May 4 (same day as Sammy) and her daughter passed away when she was still a teenager. When I had Sammy on the same day, Aunt Fern instantly made a connection to him. She sent him birthday and Christmas presents, Easter baskets and talked about my kids a great deal. She felt very close to my kids. For her to pass on Sammy's baptism day was a crazy thing. My family and I like to think that she was there for Sammy's baptism. I think she still feels that connection to him and was watching out for him in a way that we couldn't predict. It was bittersweet but I found a peace in her passing.
Once all of Kurtis' family made into town, we had what I like to call "Everything Eber week". Every other year, the whole family meets up in Kettering and we spend about 10 days together just being together. This year I counted 41 Ebers participating in the festivities! It is a bit insane! We had the baptism of Sam and May, Field Day, went swimming, frisbee golfing, went to Young's Dairy, Cox Arboretum, Kettering Rec Center and much more! It was a fun time and we're always sad when we have to see everyone go. It is particularly hard b/c we only see the children every other year and they grow up so quickly. Kurtis' niece Kaylee who really gave me a fit for marrying her Uncle Kurtis is now going to college for her freshman year and has a "boyfriend". I'm just not used to it all yet.
These are just a few pictures of life with the crews.
After everyone headed back to their respective homes, we had one week to prepare for the beginning of school. Isabel went with Mommy, Papaw, and Mamaw to the new American Girl store in Columbus! She's been dying to go and it was a lot of fun for her. The place was packed and majorly crazy but still, she is worth it!
Lastly school started yesterday for Sam and Isabel. Sam is in third grade now and honestly, it doesn't really catch me unless I pause to think about it. I can't believe he is getting so big but I'm so proud of the little man he is and I'm excited to watch him do new things. Isabel is now in first grade and I have a lot of anxiety for her. Simply, Isabel is her own person. She does what she wants....when she wants...how she wants and at times, I fear that she won't do well out in the world where people are not going to cater to her whims. But I'm excited that she had a great first day and I'm really hoping that this year is a year of growth for her.
Kalen will start preschool on Thursday and I will post about it when the time comes. Till then................
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